My Midlife Transformation: From 36 to 42 - A Journey to Authentic Living

How I discovered my true self through six years of profound personal growth and learned to live authentically

They say life begins at 40, but for me, authentic living began at 36 when everything I thought I knew about myself started unraveling. Six birthdays later, I'm sharing the photos and stories that capture the most transformative years of my life—not because they show me getting older, but because they document a woman learning to live authentically for the first time.

The Beginning: Age 36 - Living the "Perfect" Life

At 36, I appeared to have it all figured out. I was working full-time at an integrative medicine clinic as clinical administrator, serving as president of the OT Association of Hawaii, raising a 1 and 3-year-old, and we had just moved into our dream home.

This felt like the American Dream in paradise—great career, healthy children, beautiful home. All the boxes were checked for what society tells us we "need" for happiness. Yet something was missing.

Age 37: Seeds of Change During the Pandemic

The pandemic changed everything. With my girls no longer in daycare and my parents (who lived next door) helping daily, I made a pivotal career shift. I became a birth and postpartum doula while opening my own business and studying to become a pelvic floor therapist.

This was my first taste of heart-led work that served a bigger purpose. The excitement I felt stepping into this calling was unlike anything I'd experienced in traditional employment.

Age 38: Navigating Grief and New Beginnings

This year brought profound loss when my dad passed away from a heart attack in May. Deep in the grieving process, I channeled my pain into my business, launching my first course "Pelvic Health Essentials" after leaving my clinic job and stepping down as Hawaii OT association president.

I was working with clients in their homes as a postpartum doula and pelvic floor therapist, putting on my "big girl pants" and showing up professionally while privately struggling. My daily meditation practice became my lifeline during this foggy, difficult time.

Age 39: The Reckoning - Choosing the Unknown

At 39, everything felt complicated. My mom and I no longer lived next door, our relationship was strained, and I had put my business on hold while questioning everything. My husband worked on another island while I spent days in our pool, teaching my girls to swim and wondering what had happened to my life since dad's death.

Some days, getting out of bed required tremendous effort. The fog had lifted, revealing a stark reality: where my life was headed versus where I actually wanted it to go were completely different paths.

This was my midlife awakening moment—I decided the unknown was preferable to living someone else's expectations. Breaking ties with the life I'd always expected felt heart-aligned, despite the overwhelming uncertainty.

Age 40: Stepping Into a New Portal

Celebrating my 40th birthday during a month-long mainland trip with family in Hilton Head, SC, marked a turning point. This was the emergence of my soul-aligned motherhood journey.

Working with clients in my home studio, spending more time in nature, I began dreaming for myself again. I could see a clear path forward and was actively taking daily steps toward authentic living. After years of uncertainty, everything was crystallizing.

Age 41: Deepening Into Purpose

At 41, I was fully immersed in my holistic pelvic health work, surfing regularly, and embracing island life—knowing our Hawaii chapter was ending. We had decided to embark on an RV adventure on the mainland.

I had cultivated deep faith in my inner calling, practicing making decisions from a soul level rather than external expectations. Excitement filled me for the adventure ahead.

Age 42: Living as a Soul-Aligned Mother

Today at 42, I'm living the journey of a soul-aligned mother. These six transformative years have taken me from fulfilling others' expectations to creating my own authentic path.

I was never miserable before, but all my motivation came from outside influences. Now my drive emerges from deep within—a peaceful, compassionate, joy-filled place brimming with curiosity about possibility and faith that I'm exactly where I'm meant to be.

Key Lessons from My Midlife Transformation

1. Authentic Living Requires Courage

Breaking away from societal expectations and others' dreams for your life takes tremendous courage, but it's essential for personal growth.

2. Grief Can Be a Catalyst

Loss, while painful, can become a powerful catalyst for positive life changes and help clarify what truly matters.

3. Following Your Inner Voice

Learning to make decisions from a soul level rather than external pressures leads to more fulfilling life choices.

4. The Power of Faith and Meditation

Developing a strong spiritual practice and faith in your inner calling provides stability during uncertain times.

5. It's Never Too Late to Start Over

Midlife can be the beginning of your most authentic chapter, not the end of possibilities.

Gratitude for the Journey

I'm deeply grateful for this evolution in midlife and excited for my next journey around the sun. The love and support from my husband and mother during this midlife awakening has been invaluable.

Most importantly, I'm in love with the journey of life every single day—something I couldn't have said six years ago.

Are you experiencing your own midlife transformation? Share your story in the comments below, or reach out if you're looking for support on your journey to authentic living- hilary@hv-holistichealth.com